WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: What is bullying? Bullying is a pattern of abuse designed to harm or control another person. Verbal bullying means someone is calling your child names, using words to hurt him, or threatening to hurt him. Physical bullying means someone is hitting or physically attacking your child. Social abuse includes anything designed to keep your child from being accepted by others. An example is starting rumors about your child. Bullying that happens through e-mail, the Internet, or text messages is called cyberbullying. What increases my child's risk for being bullied? Anyone can be the target of bullying. Some children who bully target children who are smaller. Your child may be quiet or not have a large amount of friends. He may still be bullied even if he is tall and friendly. What are the signs my child is being bullied? - Frequent headaches or stomach problems
- Not wanting to go to school or to a school activity
- Not going to school, or not going to certain classes
- Decline in grades
- Negative comments your child makes about himself
- Becoming withdrawn, depressed, or not wanting to do things he used to enjoy
- Frequent bruises, cuts, or other injuries your child tries to cover or will not tell you about
- Becoming upset after he uses the Internet or a cell phone
- Missing items, such as a new jacket or an electronic device
- Self-injury behaviors, such as cutting himself
What are the risks of being bullied? Your child may develop poor self-esteem. He may become depressed or drop out of school. Bullying can increase your child's risk for developing a drug or alcohol addiction. He may have posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or an anxiety disorder. Bullying can lead to thoughts of suicide. What can I do to help support my child? Help him understand that the bullying is not his fault. He may think he did something to deserve being bullied, but bullying is never okay. - Ask your child about school. He may not want to tell you he is being bullied. It may help to ask him more general questions about how school is going. Ask about his friends and classmates. Ask if he has a favorite class or a class he does not like.
- Take your child's fears seriously. He needs to feel safe and to know that the bullying will stop. Do not tell your child that what he is describing is something every child goes through. Do not tell him to grow up, and do not dismiss his fears.
- Talk to your child's school officials. His school may offer programs designed to stop bullying. Your child may not want to tell anyone about the bullying out of fear that the bullying will become worse. Help him practice so he can tell a teacher or other adult about the bullying. He will need to tell the adult what happened, when it occurred, and if anyone else saw or heard it.
- Help your child develop healthy ways to respond. Teach him to walk away from the person who is bullying him. He may need to change a class or change when he has lunch. Talk to your child about his Internet, e-mail, and text message accounts. You may need to have them changed or closed to prevent cyberbullying.
- Keep records of the bullying. If possible, save all e-mail, text, and similar messages your child receives. You will be able to contact the police or other authorities to get help if any threats are being made against your child. You may be able to talk to the parents of the child who is bullying your child.
|